Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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