just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize