Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize