i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
