butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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