Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
