Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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