why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
