It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
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and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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