I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
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There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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