I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
