a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
