Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
