Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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