My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
