Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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