So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
