She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
