so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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