Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
