I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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