Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
