i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize