I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
