Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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