and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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