just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
