I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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