hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
