You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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