If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
