man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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