all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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