I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
