I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
