i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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