You work out of a Hotel?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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