Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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