Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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