lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is in my trunk
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
