Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
