your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
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Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize