apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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