Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
