how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize