I can tuck mytits in my pants
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
