what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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