"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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