I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
