I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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