Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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