all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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