i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
