who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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