My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
And then he peed in my hair
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