I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
