i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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