dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Welp...herpes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
