i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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