I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
