I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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