Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You took a bar mat shot.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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