I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Say something about gay babies.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
