walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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