i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
