I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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