No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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