I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
