yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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