If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Less talking, more tequila
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
