i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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